Self-doubt craters the path to fulfillment. Puddles of uncertainty splash amidst the trudging trajectory of creative pursuit. With talent and potential set aside, the fuel to push it further requires tenacity and forgiveness.
I’ve made certain changes in my relationship with my day(night)-job. It was a decision made with many aspects in mind. In these strange and exciting times I find myself drawn to, more than ever, the art of story telling and the discipline of self sufficiency. My personal story is at a crossroads of doing what is beckoning within my mind and heart and working within the confines of what has been decided by society of generations past.
Some projects stir the urge to show and share, to those that find it worth seeing, the how’s and why’s of technique and experiment. Additionally, some end results and final pieces can be achieved and realized from a level of community driven development.
In negotiation for a more flexible schedule I had to take a cut in my hourly wage. Capitalistic resurgence of time wasting in my duties and the climate of global health have enticed the creative, freelance side of me into action. Alas, to maybe make a small amount of supplemental income, I have signed up with Patreon. And in parallel, I have begun writing, seriously, my first short story. It is here that I wonder and fear what is next. Should I attempt mainstream publishing? An independent approach in crowdfunding and distribution? What hurdles await me in the world of writing other than the actual act of writing and all the editing that comes with it? I feel like I should approach it just like an independent Neuron Dreamtime release and take the brunt of the work needed. The Patreon project will not consist of one genre or even one medium. It will be a plethora of things in the long run but at the start it will seem mediocre. You gotta aim for the stars to get to the moon.
Blueprints are being drafted for a new phase of construction. A step into the realm of crowdfunding and subscription based content. Walls will be erected to house these oddities of the Dreamtime and the various media they animate.
To live a life of artistic pursuit and humble living is the wish I cast with every breath. I constantly remind myself that life is too short, the pursuit of money will not make you happy in the long run, and to follow your creative and curious heart is liberty. We take for granted every minute of every hour of every day. I am taking ownership of my life and bringing with it something to share with the world. I offer myself, who I am, to those who aim to reach something similar in these circumstances, something better, if even for a moment. I’ve always seen what I do as hobby(s) when I’ve wanted them to be so much more. I am not looking for fame. I am looking at the act of creating as my purpose.
So the Habitue Hypothesis is this: if I find it within myself, to approach my hobbies as a job, and the content finds an audience, I should be able to kick myself into high-gear and make some amount of supplemental income via supporters and collaborators. All the while, hopefully, fostering a sense of community within my audience.
As I mentioned earlier I have become extremely interested in storytelling and writing. I feel like it’s a common thread in that with each ND album I loved building the thing as a whole. The art. The words. All of it. And even in painting, there is a story somewhere. Anyway, this story I am working on is one inspired by Romero films and books like The Road. The collapse of society as we know it, brought about by this hideous plague. But, of course, I’m trying to bring my own flavor and formula to the table. I’ve had the blessing of honest and true friends who have helped me through the process, who have helped me battle my own self-doubt. I am eager to share what’s in store. More on that to come.
I would love to make a living via excreting my soul into creative projects. But alas, I tell myself to remain “realistic”, to not hold high expectations, to take it one step at a time. The current state of world health and economic hardships that many people are facing right now make it hard for me to ask for any kind of help, especially financial.
The Patreon page is not active yet but will be in the coming weeks, maybe days, after ironing out some roughness and trimming some fat. In this process I hope to establish a cohesive vision that will appeal to others and be an enjoyable experience.
I feel there is nothing to lose in attempting this prospective endeavor. Starting small with just one tier available at launch (three more are already blueprinted) but it will definitely grow as I settle in to the new grind and get a feel for the land upon which we will build as a community. At the worst, if it fails, I’ll be where I am at. And that’s fine too, I guess. Doesn’t mean I won’t try again.
TL;DR – I have a Patreon page dropping soon. Send me money to support my dreams and I’ll do my best to inspire and collaborate. Also, I am writing a horror story. More to come, as always.
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