With a pandemic on our collective and hopefully frequently washed hands, a statewide stay at home order still in effect, and my place of employment basically shutdown since three weeks ago till about the end of April means I’m in the middle of a surprise vacation that’s been dropped in my lap. All this new found time to catch up, spring clean, raise chickens and reflect. A lot of artists are using social media to provide escape for themselves and others and it really makes me realize how underutilized this site has been. It’s honestly no surprise as even the social media spectrum is underutilized but here I have a unique domain name, a haven for my music and a blog for words to convey thoughts and yet very little engagement from myself outside of album release time.

So here I sit writing this new blog post. A post I must’ve written and rewritten over a dozen times, over the span of several months for periods of maybe an hour at a time. Each draft always a little different from the last. Unpublished because either it ended up not being good enough, or I never finished it because I hit a wall then took a break and then my whole mood and perspective had undergone change in comparison to what was written. Each version with it’s own incubation period between being conceived and being updated to a new paradigm only to be saved-as-draft until the next full moon. Rinse, repeat. This is actually very reflective of the creation of the music at times as well. Anyway, I feel the need to switch up that habit and be more punctual creatively, so here I am. Again.

Now, as we joke about the end of the world and this startling start to the new Roaring Twenties, we cope with the fragility of it all and the inequality that perpetuates breakdowns within that which stands as the doctrine of being human. This won’t end us all. Life will go on. But so will business. And so will politics. Remember then, those who were there for you and how you were treated when things looked dire. Remember received bailouts and who received no help. Remember which jobs were essential and which were not and remember that we all deserve to eat, to be healthy and to spend time with family and friends and ourselves. To live life to our fullest in liberty and pursuit of happiness. Normal is flux but we should always try to make it better.

Knuckle-deep now, let’s talk music. Haven’t touched a DAW with intent to create a new album or anything like that but I have revisited a few things that were shelved years ago. One of which I am happy to have polished up and finalized in conjunction with this blog post. This is another Nobou Uematsu Final Fantasy cover/remix/midi-hack that I started sometime after uploading the other 3 to Soundcloud (song located below or click HERE to listen to all four). The FF7 Remake just dropped so it’s the perfect time to get this out there. These are like exercises to me, a type of practice that includes countless hours of the artists mantra, “Is it finished or am I?”. Hope it is enjoyed as much as the others. Moving on.

Next, in art news. Lots of new sights to behold. Much of which has or is coming to social media and this site soon. In tandem, much of which has led to the study of Patreon and how it works and whether or not it’s something people (you reading this) would be interested in let alone if I could pull it of logistically. My outlets for creativity and content vary so much sometimes that I have a hard time choosing which project I should follow through with. I also run out of motivation due to creative blocks or bouts of indecision so I’ll start something new or work on a back-burner. Maybe I’m just overthinking and underestimating my own abilities at this point. It is something I tend to do. The mind trying to catch itself, to hold down a moment to make the best possible “next move”. And I think something like Patreon could help me become more consistent with time management and with the help of a community that wishes to be part of the journey I can see there being options to curb the indecisiveness while allowing outside input and perspective.

Indecisiveness for the sake of perfect hinders the flow and burdens the conscious. Contemplating the perfect piece or the perfect detail stops any of it from truly becoming what it could be. I used to think that I had to wait for the creative inspiration to come like a gust of wind to invigorate my senses. Which does indeed happen from time to time but that’s not enough nor is it the only way. There also exists a dance of warmup, jump in, get discouraged, jump in again, maybe get discouraged again and if so jump in again, find the flow, follow it, eventually you don’t want to stop but you gotta sleep. Save, quit, sleep. Repeat.

Also if you are taking the time to read this, thank you. I’ve always wanted to add writing to my creative outlets but its one I feel maybe I’m weakest at probably because of lack of practice. It’s got less to do with a lack of vocabulary or grammar or those kinds of literary tool-sets (It goes without saying I’m sure I’ve got a lot to learn in those ares too) and more to do with arrangement or composition best befitted for comprehension. With this blog I want to be honest but maybe cryptic at times, reflective and maybe with some humorous pseudo-intellectual philosophical poetic pretentiousness without being too hard to follow. Life is absurd, so am I. When it comes to stories I’m a science fiction and cosmic horror fan so that’s the kind of flavor I want to imbued my writing with. I like to make shit up, obviously. So once and when I get these queries and ideas off notepads and into form I’ll have another blog post outlining the Patreon Plan, what to expect and how you can help. Along with all the other dreams of course, time and attention is all it takes. Thank you for yours.

Sincerely, a creator with a lump of ideas in a temporary slump.